For most of my life I had been trying to understand and find spiritually “out there”. I was in essence trying to go “up and out” to explore and travel to worlds and dimensions beyond this physical one. As if the secrets to the universe lay in the far beyond way “out there”. This was largely and intellectual based endeavor, I wanted to understand the multidimensional universe in scientific absolute reality type terms.
Then I had my first few psychedelic experiences which flipped everything around for me. Instead of going “up and out” psychedelics brought me “down and in”. Faster, deeper and further than I could manage. I was confronted with my personal repressed emotional realities with little resources to understand or process them. I discovered much to my surprise that the ego itself is incredibly pliable, that the bounds of my psychological identity could stretch out like a rubber band and change the nature of my experience in a dramatic way. I was confronted with parallel realities, mirror selves, and saw deep into the multidimensional nature of my own emotional pain and suffering. I was ill-equipped to travel to these places alone and with few adequate “tools”.
The importance of emotional intelligence through ego development like the kind Seth talks about throughout his books became abundantly clear to me. I began to understand that consciousness through most importantly emotions as well as thoughts creates all experience and everything physical, down to every last cell of my body. I came to the realization that the life long health issues I had been suffering from where no longer mechanical issues I had to solve with nutrigenomics, supplements or diet, but anxieties based on emotional trauma and disruptions going back to the earliest parts of my childhood development.
Many of the “issues” I had/have I came to understand were pre-verbal having to do with the relationship my mind had with my body ego. Through therapy and extensive training I was able to build new psychological resources that changed the way I relate to myself and others. This had a profound impact on how I live my life and the nature of my experience. It opened new vistas of experience that had been previously unknown to me in deep and profound ways. I didn’t understand the full depth of what personal development meant until discovering this new paradigm in emotional body-based way of being and exploration.
This has radically changed the focus of my life and how I choose to spend my time. Thus the nature and content of this website has changed and many of the health related articles this website is popular for are not particularity relevant to me anymore.